Community-Coalition On Drug Awareness





A Note to Parents

If you use marijuana or drink alcohol — whether in front of your teen or not — you should anticipate that he is going to call you out on this (“But you smoke weed/drink alcohol!”).

Take the time to reflect on, and perhaps reevaluate, your own use — especially if your teen is seeing you use. You may want to consider the effect your behavior has on him.

For instance, if you come home from a long, stressful day and the first thing you do is smoke a joint  or pour yourself a drink, you may want to try modeling another behavior for your child (like going for a walk, working out, reading, stretching, deep breathing or something else that helps you unwind). Showing your teen that you use a substance to relieve stress or   as a coping skill, can send the wrong message.

Ask yourself why you drink and/or smoke, how often, what time of day and how much you use.  These answers are going to affect your credibility with your teen, give you some insight into your   own behavior and allow you to evaluate whether your substance use is in any way becoming a harmful and unhealthy coping mechanism.

These are questions only you can answer. Think about them in an honest manner, and reach out     for help if you need it. (Consider calling the Partnership’s Parents Toll-Free Helpline at 1-855-DRUGFREE.)

If you don’t feel comfortable talking about your substance use with your teen, you can put the focus back on him. You can say, “I’m glad you brought this topic up. I think it’s important that we talk about my use as well as yours and, I would like it if we started with your use, why do you feel the need to drink or smoke?”

Try asking your teen, “How does my use affect you? I’m curious, because who you are and how you are feeling is important to me.” This invite to share and ask questions and promotes collaboration.

Consider also asking your teen, “How does knowing that I use pot or drink alcohol make you think differently about your own decisions?” Open-ended questions like these show curiosity, respect and understanding.

 And lastly, be sure to express your love and caring about your child’s health, development and well-being.

—Heather Senior, LCSW, Parent Support Network Manager Partnership for Drug-Free Kids